Keepin' it Streak

I reached a marvellous milestone today. I took part in my first honest-to-goodness media scrum.

Don't get me wrong, I've been in many media conferences full of journos and camera operators, all scrambling for vision and/or audio.

But this was the first actual "on-the-run" question session - where the subject refused to stop walking, and we were all forced to jog alongside him, bumping microphones and cameras, and tripping over ourselves, and him, as we went. Tune in to the TV news services tonight, and you may just catch one Girl Clumsy Esq., with slightly big hair, flailing about with a microphone.

And who, you ask, was the subject of such hardcore media scrutiny?

Why, this man, of course.

Not Andrew Symonds, but the naked man he's shoulder-charging.

The young man's name is Robert Ogilvie, and he's a 26-year-old miner on the admirable salary of $4000 per month (these are the things you pick up in court).

Last night, he and a group of friends set up shop in Section 15 of the Gabba stands, to enjoy a few beers while Australia tried to salvage the tri-series in the second final against India. Around 6:20pm, Ogilvie had the stunningly brilliant idea of togging down, scaling the fence, pelting past some security officers and police, and running, bollocks-out, onto the pitch. The crowd roared, but the police began to give chase.

But Ogilvie made a crucial mistake. He failed to realise that Australia was in a precarious position after the first loss in the finals series, which had come at the end of a summer full of controversy and "monkey" insults. The stakes were high, and Symonds had No. Frigging. Time. for such shenanigans.

Ogilvie also failed to remember that Symonds had indulged in a spot of pre-season training with the Brisbane Broncos.

THWACK!

Executing a perfect coat-hanger maneouvre, Ogilvie's triumphant naked run was brought to a sudden, stupefying end by the sharp end of Symonds' right elbow. A number of police then executed a perfect "stacks-on" method of detention, body-slamming the bare-arsed entertainer so deep he'll be washing grass off his back for weeks.

The crowd roared, then laughed. As Ogilvie was led off in hand-cuffs, they got back to the serious business of watching Australia lose.

But young Ogilvie's actions meant Australia's loss of the tri-series trophy was NOT the most memorable thing about the evening. Could one call that a public service?

Is Ogilvie a legend, or a dead-set loser?

Judging from his own attitude when he emerged from the back of the Brisbane watchhouse around midday today, having just been fined $1500 for his bravura, he thinks he's nailed a pretty-bloody-Aussie achievement. He powered his way through the press corps, answering questions in short sentences, or just a few words. He said being hit by Symonds was "just like playing football, really", and that "you're only young once". He said he wasn't embarrassed by his actions, but wouldn't be doing it again. Ogilvie apologised to the Australian team for interrupting play, and told one reporter who asked if he'd take legal action against Symonds for assault to "wake up to yourself".

As the throng eased, he made his way up towards Roma Street, being pursued (apparently) by an A Current Affair film crew.

I couldn't stop laughing. I know there are serious issues involved here - the interruption of player focus, the bad example to children, the over-consumption of alcohol - but after three hours sitting in court, I needed a giggle.