I discovered this on turning up to the Tibetan Kitchen on Petrie Terrace for dinner with my folks and Queen Pat (my champagne-guzzling, Vanuatu-dwelling, sole-remaining grandparent) and discovering they had an excellent $25-a-head buffet dinner going on.
I had a moment of "But we just had Chinese New Y.... oh, yeah. Yeah, I can see how they'd want to avoid that."The best thing was the fortune cookies served with dessert. The instructional letter left on each table explicitly stated the fortune cookies were "NOT to be eaten!". And with good reason. Made out of dough, they each contain one of 13 items, many of which could choke you to death. But the items correspond with a character trait, which "may or may not" match your own personality.
I got cotton. "Somebody that is very soft-hearted". Kinda true, I guess. The Wah will attest to the fact I do have an affinity for freaks. I also can't tell lies, and am easily influenced. I even shed a tear at the end of Love, Actually - even though I hated the film and everything it stood for.
My Mum got chili seeds. "Angry and outrageous". She's very shy, my Mum, and in fact, a very classy lady. But then again, she IS Irish by birth...
My Dad got a woodstick: "Who can build as many houses as possible". Somewhat true, if you take it in a figurative "good provider" kind of way, or in a more literal "excellent with tools and various stuff about the house".
We all had a gut laugh when my Gran finally got into hers. "Stone!" said the nice waitress who'd helped Gran crack open the dough ball on the side of the table. "Stubborn!" I exclaimed. This is the woman who refused to get a computer for years, but is now all "Just drop me an email". The woman who paddled a canoe out to a ship to make sure her younger brother was OK during WWII (she was in the WRNS; he the RN) even though he begged her not to because everyone would tease him. She's mellowed over the years but I'm reliably informed that my Gran is in fact one of the most Terrifying People to Ever Have Lived. It's pretty much Boadicea, Genghis Khan, and Queen Pat. There'll be a seat for her somewhere in Valhalla.
So you know four of the items and their corresponding traits. But there's another nine. So let's play a game.
Pick a number between 1 and 13, and post it here (along with any comments you have to make about the ferocity of my Gran, or indeed any grandparent of your own). Once I get a few, I'll post up what item you chose (in accordance with the Tibetan Kitchen's list), and what it means. And no Googling! It'll spoil the fun.
i'll go with 8....
ReplyDeletethe fiend
or infinity on it's side as i like to call it....
I'll go with 13 though I probably draw a 31.
ReplyDelete"Happy Lhosar for the Year of the Ox", yeah but none of those Tibetains will be up yet after the New Year's eve the night before
2 Please. :) Your Gran sounds awesome. Mine is tiny and seemingly reserved, but can talk your ear off when you let her, and was apparently quite the hell raiser as a little girl.
ReplyDeleteNumber 9 please. I lived next door to your Gran when your Dad was a lad. Why don't you write stories about the things she has done and places she has been?
ReplyDelete1.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I thank my lucky stars you have an affinity for freaks.
Why do you hate Love Actually?
ReplyDeleteI shall go for number ten
ReplyDeleteSo thats why you and the Wah were pussy footing around her when she was here last year
And there was I thinking "What a sweet lady coming out to see the rehearsal
9... And I've been careful not to look at anyone else's numbers.
ReplyDeleteAnd Queen Pat sounds awesome.
Yo, PCH. "Love, Actually" is abysmal. It has one good storyline, and that's the Alan Rickman/Emma Thompson one. That actually has some guts; the rest is all glossy showy nothingness. Yes, Hugh Grant is amusing, and does funny dances. This DOES NOT MAKE A FILM.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what's with that weird dude scoring chicks? It doesn't even make sense. And why is it like a telephone company ad at the end with them all coming out of the airport doors?
And why does Keira Knightley as a newly married woman kiss that dude? Why would she do that? What's the reasoning someone in love with their husband would give a sympathy kiss to someone they DON'T plan on leaving their husband for? And what's the whole Claudia Schiffer thing? Just frickin' product placement.
And why can't Laura Linney have a relationship as well as take care of her brother or mother or whoever it was? There are people called carers. And what is the point of the Rowan Atkinson sequence. It's not funny. I assume he was supposed to be annoying Alan Rickman, but he just annoyed me.
And it's SO sappy and deliberately tugging on the heartstrings with the kiddies and the singing and the fake snow and the Prime Minister wandering the streets - why would he do that? He would have security personnel do that.
Too many plot holes and stupid storylines that people think must make Richard Curtis genius.
Richard Curtis is only good when someone else is writing with him. Case in point: The Black Adder versus Blackadder II, Blackadder the Third and Blackadder Goes Forth.
Rowan Atkinson co-wrote The Black Adder.
ReplyDeleteAlso, we're going to have to agree to disagree about Love, Actually. It's meant to be this big melting pot of romantic comedy, Curtis admits as much in interviews. It absolutely is sappy and saccarine and lovey-dovey; that's the entire point of the film. If you're not on board with that then you're not going to have a very good time watching it.
Also, 7.
Exactly. It was Ben Elton who gave that series punch, not Richard Curtis!
ReplyDeleteBut then I always seem to be on the wrong side of popular opinion. I just cannot understand why everyone loves "Love, Actually", when it's quite obviously pants. It's just it's British, and not a Hollywood rom-com, so people think it MUST have more pathos and intelligence and what-not.
Maybe I should run a poll. Then I've got to find a movie "romance" that is actually good, instead of "Love, Actually".
12, please!
ReplyDeleteAnd...well...I liked Love, Actually. Not the bit they put in about 9/11 in voiceover, though.
Amy
3 for me please :)
ReplyDeleteAll righty here we go. Now just remember, according to the Tibetan Kitchen's instruction sheet, these "may or may not" represent you. So don't take it personally, and slam a custard pie in my face the next time you see me. Go gang up on Tibet or something.
ReplyDeleteThe fiend chose Number 8 - "SALT: Lazy and fatting." Remember, no custard pies!
BarnesM picked lucky 13 - "COIN: Never short of money in life". Drinks are on you, Barnes!
Jackie plumped for number 2 - "PAPER: Someone who is intellectual and goes for higher education." I think Jac is about to embark on her 17th uni course so that works.
Both Big Al and Sleepy Dumpling went for number 9. Congratulations, you match my Dad - "WOODSTICK: Someone who can build as many houses as possible."
Dan thinks of himself as number 1, so it's only natural he should pick that very number. What he didn't know is that number 1 is the same as me - "COTTON: Somebody who is very soft-hearted."
Speaking of hearts, The Ancient Man has gone with number 10 - "BUTTER: very kind-hearted". Still, I wouldn't take this as open slather to get in his face. He can bench press a Holden Rodeo.
Peter C Hayward uses his middle initial, and hence is obviously far too cool to ask about his Tibetan character trait.
Disco Stu is number 7 - "CHILI: Angry and outrageous." Stu is not much like my Mum - he is hairier for a start, and slightly more obsessed with Batman.
Amy is number 12 - "NAIL: Can be excellent as a builder." Which would seem weird, until you see the tissue-paper constructed cleavage she implemented during yesterday's "Felafel" video shoot... but more on that soon...
And finally Crazy Cat Lady picked number 3 - "POTATO: Somebody who can gel with everyone." And CCL is pretty cruisy, I gotta admit that.
So there's still numbers 4, 6 and 11 if anybody else wants to claim them... ;)
Natalie, I'll take that 6. C'mon, boxcar!
ReplyDeleteHey YankeeDog!
ReplyDeleteNumber 6 sadly is not a boxcar, but instead - "THREAD: for long-lasting relationship of any kind". So maybe if you GET a boxcar, you'll have it for a long time. :)
no 4 for me please
ReplyDeleteglad its your Gran who is so scary... not your mother in law
11, please :}
ReplyDeleteAnonymous chose Number 4 - "GRAIN: Someone who can amass wealth in the house." Nice.
ReplyDeleteAnd Em chose lucky last number 11 - "SUGAR: Somebody who is sweet to everyone." Her character in "Felafel" aside; I'd say that was pretty much true. ;)
Bwaaa!
ReplyDelete"All part of the service, sweetie."