Bringing Ugly Back

I haven't been watching this MasterChef program, but it seems I'm missing out on ogling the biggest ballistic sexbomb since Mr Darcy emerged, dripping wet, in his shirtsleeves, from the pond at Pemberley....

...er, sorry, where was I? Oh yes. Sex symbols. Apparently, this chef bloke called George Calombaris is one. So much so, that he's inspired Karen Brooks' column in today's Courier-Mail - Ugly is the New Sexy.

I'd like to come back here with a sensible and well-reasoned argument, but the truth is - this is all just seven types of bollocks.

If George Calombaris is sexy - and that can depend on your personal definition - it's because he's interesting and talented. He can cook you a damn fine meal, and talk to you intelligently about it.

In The Tasmanian Babes Fiasco, one of the characters remembers a former lover wistfully, saying "You can forgive a lot if a person's interesting." (apologies to Birmo if I've misquoted).

Anyone can be sexy. Good-looking people just have a headstart.

Buy a new shirt. Get a haircut. Learn how to put on make-up sensibly. Wear a fragrance. Stand up straight. Smile. Don't be a creep. Talk confidently, but not arrogantly. Don't say the words "dude" or "bro" too much. Lower the tone and pace of your speaking voice. Don't get too stupidly drunk. Have an opinion on things, but don't be dogmatic. Pay attention to the person you're speaking with, and listen to what they say. And skills with food are always good.*

Having said that - and even though beauty can be subjective - I don't think one article like this signals the start of the Great Loving of Ugly People. Thanks to the last fifty years of pop culture, we're all too shallow for that.

*Yes, these are tips for me as much as for anyone else. Gosh, being beautiful would be so much easier.