Best Foot Forward

Last night's episode of Prognosis: Death! Pandemic was pretty gosh darn awesome. The staff of St Love Hospital were sent on a group-bonding summer camp retreat at the St Love Bayou, only to be confronted by a vicious yeti.

I'm pleased that the show was so awesome, because I would hate to have caused myself physical harm for something that wasn't totally worth it.

What physical harm, you say? Why, that would be this badly swollen foot:

 It's the one on the right.

Of course it happened in the second scene of the night. Nurse Lottie Buble's trait for the evening (a suggestion I get from the audience) was "rage-induced narcolepsy". Basically she'd get so worked up about something, some sort of self-preservation mechanism would kick in and she'd faint dead away.

So I start the scene with the rage element - bashing at the hospital bed with Buble's regulation-issue nurses clipboard. I then peel back and take aim at the mattress-y part of the bed. Of course, being Girl Effing Clumsy, I completely f*** up the shot, and crack the top of my foot into a very hard piece of wood.

The moment happened to be caught on camera by Wanda Anderson, one of our amazing audience photographers:

The pain is real. Feel it. Feel it!

I had intended to kick the bed and parlay that into a humourous bit of slapstick physical comedy with a faint, but after the intense shock of the kick, all I could manage was a sharp intake of breath, a silent scream and then the line "I missed".

It didn't get a laugh. Not surprisingly, as it wasn't funny. CURSE YOU BRAIN FOR NOT BRINGING THE FUNNIES WHEN THE BODY IS IN PAIN.

Turns out a lot of people thought I was acting because I recovered reasonably quickly and moved along with the action. I'm going to take that credit. I WAS putting on some brilliant acting. Method acting, sure, but damnit, you take what you can get.

By interval my foot had swollen up like Marlon Brando after a bee sting. The energy and focus on the performance got me through the second half, but once I removed Nurse Buble's shoes after the show finished, I became almost an instant cripple.

But you know what? It was a great show, with fantastic scenes, good laughs and mighty amounts of blood. If despite physical pain I can still look as pleased as this...

... then, damnit, it was totally worth it.

(Not that I want it to happen again, mind. I'm all good for injuries at the moment. Really.)

There are only two nights of the show left - and a note for the Burgers/Felafel fans out there - bon vivant and playwright Simon Bedak will be in town and coming to the show this Saturday 30 January, and is very excited about meeting people. Book your tickets now!