Jan 15, 2010

Jingo

I walked out to grab my cab this morning and the receptionist said "Good luck!". I thought for a moment she was wishing me well in my journalistic duties; until I saw my driver was a Sikh. I think perhaps she was indulging in some casual racism about Indian taxi drivers. Because, you know, THEY CAN'T DRIVE PROPERLY AND STUFF.

By the time I got back to the office, I'd had THREE Indian taxi drivers. All three knew their way around town perfectly. All three were polite and quiet. I attempted to give one of them a direction. He pointed out a better route.  I attempted to point out a shortcut to another. He already knew it.

Can all those Facebook groups about "No more Indian cab drivers!" be shut down now please? I know it's just my experience, but they're making me uncomfortable.

Meanwhile the Queensland Police Union has called for heavier penalties for louts who have a skinful on Australia Day, drape themselves in Australian flags, then go around causing trouble. Jingoism draped long and flowing, to hide the racism. Billy Hughes and PigIron Bob Menzies are dancing a merry jig in hell.

The authorities call for EVERYONE to "respect the flag".

The flag is the flag! We must respect what it means!

In that case, can we stop importing thirty cent Chinese plastic knock-offs to attach to the driver and passenger side windows of our Falcons and Commodores?

'Cause when I think of all those ANZACs who lost their guts in a hail of Turkish gunfire on some grizzly dawn, I doubt they thought they were fighting for the right of some bogan Normanby punters to flutter strips of blue plastic from their vehicles as they slag off Indian cab drivers for TAKING THEIR JOBS.

I mean, the Model T Ford had barely even been invented.

Now it's a free society. I know you have the right to your cheap-ass bogan car decals. GO RIGHT AHEAD.

But then you can't judge me if I consider a well-made flag, constructed of some sort of FABRIC, and flown from a FLAGPOLE, as being slightly more worthy than your Crazy Clark's half-assed attempt at patriotism.

And, truth be told, you can't judge me if I decide I don't actually care one way or another about your version of "respecting the flag".

Last year a massive flag measuring 10 metres across was stolen from outside a business on Brisbane's southside.

Un-Australian! they bayed.

Un-Australian? UN-AUSTRALIAN?!?!?

"Modern" Australia, the one with us whiteys in it, was founded by a bunch of crooks and thieves, transported for life for nicking a slice of bread Blighty-side.

Stealing a gigantic Australian flag on Australia Day is possible THE most Australian thing you could do.

That's something I can respect.