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I could really use a "More Sleep" app |
I have called new phone "Figaro", as I'm attempting to "figure it out". Don't laugh at my bad puns. I am very, very tired.
Early thoughts from an overwrought brain:
- Ooh, big block tiles are simple, and respond to fat finger jabs.
- I can change colours! Now pink, now teal!
- Having Gmail on my phone is So. Awesome.
- HOW DO I ADD A CONTACT? GAH! Oh there's a plus button in the "people hub". That sounds like a country song. "Oh, oh, oh, she hit the plus sign in my people hub; and now she's gone awwaaaayyy".
- Had the network weirdly just drop out at the Tempo Bar. Can't be reception, surely, it's the middle of the Valley. HIPSTERS WOULD NEED THE NETWORK. Try messing with settings. Nothing works. Someone suggests turning it off and turning it back on. BINGO. 20-plus years of mobile phone technology and the best trouble-shooting is still TURN IT OFF/TURN IT ON.
- My fingers skim over the screen. Skim! Like rocks on a still pond! Oh, Amy Pond. I should get Doctor Who wallpaper. How do I download Doctor Who wallpaper?!?!?
- Internet Explorer doesn't seem too bad. HAVE I COLLAPSED INTO A BLACK HOLE WHO WOULD SAY THAT. I can make the screen BIGGER OR SMALLER. I am like the magic potion Alice in Wonderland drinks. Hey, look, a bunny.
- Oh God I'll never be able to write as cleverly as the other reviewers. They know what words like "processors" and "lag" and "RTFM" mean.
- Facebook integrates with Windows Live, even though I don't really know what Windows Live is. But why no Twitter integration? Are you that pissed off at Biz Stone, Microsoft? CAN'T YOU JUST GET ALONG I HAVE PICTURES TO TWEET NOW.
- Actually forget that. I think I would get too confused. At least Twitter is in one place. The app thingy for it seems a tad on the slow side. But still, for new smartphone girl, it's like WOOHOOOOO TWITTER ON PHONE.
- I am buying "apps". I have no idea what they do. One is a password vault. This is excellent news, as I keep forgetting my passwords. But it wants me to enter a "master password". Am scared. What if I forget it?
- High score on Flight Control - one! "Surely you can't be serious" etc.
- Tried using "Rapid Recorder" app to tape a media conference. It turned off when phone went to sleep. Tried to disable sleep mode completely, but the longest option I could find was five minutes. Now I have two files of Andrew Fraser talking AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACCESS THEM I AM A MORON.
- Camera is kind of cool but I can't make it work in the dark. Seems a bit problematic, but I suspect it could be my fault. Why didn't I listen to my father and apply myself more to learning?
- Just tried USB cabling Figaro to my new laptop. It seems to be charging, but neither device seems to be recognising the other. But then I did buy an Apple laptop, and now have a Windows phone. OH THE IRONY TASTE IT IT'S LIKE IRON AND EPIC FAIL.
- I'm supposed to try out music, I guess. But then Figaro has a Zune. And I have an Apple now. And I don't even know how to use iTunes. I have no music on my new laptop, nor my phone. Can anybody dust off a cassette player for me please? That's really all I deserve. And a Rick Astley cassingle if you have one.
- Author John Birmingham says I am dead to him for getting non-Apple phone product. Tried to point out I didn't pay for it. Doesn't seem to count. My friend Dan pointed out JB got a Kindle before getting an iPad and this is A. GOOD. POINT. BIRMINGHAM.
- Say what you want, it's a dead sexy phone to hold and use. Dead sexy. I feel at least 13% sexier with Figaro.
- Heh - if I think the phone is too flashy, I can use the quote TOO MANY NOTES, MR MOZART in my review and everyone will think I'm a genius.
- Oh God other reviewers might read this. I'm so, so sorry.